But most of all... I love this guy
.
This man, and those like him, are what I live for. Of course I enjoy putting sticky things on people in Halo, taking out a Survivor as a Hunter, and perhaps the occasional defeat of a certain wizard in Castle Crashers.
But what it all comes down to?
The guy that has the grenade on him and feels as if it is a assault upon his mothers dignity.
That one little boy who thinks that the only reason you have jumped on the only woman that does not beat him (Zoey) is because you have some sort of cheats activated.
Or that one guy that decides you are a noob because said wizard killed you... while you were trying to save the very guy that insults you.
All of theses scenarios. I live for it.
Because to me, whatever you tell me, that is how it is going to be.
It IS an assault upon your mother, who is probably so proud of her son who feels the need to rap into the headset while acting as if he is as hung as a horse.
In fact, I do have hacks currently running little boy, and they are currently pin pointing your exact location. Don't worry, I'll bring the Spermicidal Lube.
Oh and actually, I was not trying to save you. I was attempting to hurl your dead carcuss at the wizard in attempts to make him mistake me for you. Seeing as you have been a mistake all along.
I love to argue.
I took debate for a year, and absolutely hated it. Debate in high school is focused on one thing, (correct me if I am wrong brad, the title might be off) Cross-Examination Debate. This includes having close to a million facts which you use to argue against your opponent. This was Horseshit.
I am an LD debater. This includes absolutely no facts whatsoever, and is based soley on what you understand, and how quickly you can come up with ideas and consiquences. I excelled in this. I am able to fling contradictions at peoples feeble lies before they can even begin to close their mouths just to open them again to say "God Damn It Travis you are amazing."
This practice has carried over to one place, Xbox Live.
Xbox has become the breeding ground of idiots as we know them today. You can't play more than one game without running into some young male who has decided that today is the day he takes on the world by flinging half assed insults to innocent bystanders via the anonimity of the internet.
Fling yourself at my feet, for that is where your insults will fall as mine soar above your own.
I want to relate to a conversation I had with a pleasant young white male earlier this week over Uno of all things. As we are all aware, racism, sexism and all other "isms" are null and void over Xbox Live. If anything is offensive it is meant to be so, but to the recieving end so calm down.
This is all from memory, but not sided against anyone in particular.
*I join waiting room through quick match*
*I get kicked out*
*quick match again, same match.*
*I get kicked out*
*Quick match, same match*
"Wait! Why do you keep kicking me?! This is the only damn match."
A woman replies, "We aren't actually going to play....."
I don't like this, why would we have a uno gang that loiters around my fun? I joined, I wanted to play.
"So when do we start?"
She replies, annoyed, "We don't."
"OK, can I ask you something then?"
"What?"
"When do we get to play Uno?"
At this point, a white male with a camera one tells me "Dude, shut the fuck up!"
Oh no you didn't.
and so I say, "Oh no you didn't"
Awkward silence.
White male begins to rap.
"Excuse me spliffxkilla, you do realize you are... white don't you?"
"Dude, shut the fuck up!"
"Hey, I am just saying, you are a shitty rapper, and you are white, I don't think you are going places anytime soon. So do us all a favor and shut up."
He gets visably angry as he drinks his coke over the camera. He then replies, "Man I would give you a swollen lip if I saw you right now." (Something along those lines... and who the fuck says that to begin with anyways?).
I reply, "Alright you know what!? Thats offensive. You are more entitled to be a wigger! You can take the Black mans culture, his music, and his language (He has already called me a dawg at this point), but you can never have their lips!"
He is set back, for of course I am calling out his very identity and it is a starteling realization that he is in fact not black. He says, "Man! Who the fuck are you dawg? I swear to God I would kick your ass if I knew where you lived. I sweared to god.
Ok, so here is where I get tired of him. To me, so far, this was all in jest. I was having a good time. I meant nothing personal, i don't care if he likes to pretend he can rap. I assumed he was enjoying this as much as I was. Of course, Some people have this thing called dignity and honor. Those silly things prevented him from seeing the humor of the situation. He was beginning to say things which you can not really answer back to in a witty way. He was threatening me with force.... something you can't accomplish. This is the lowest attack form over the internet, it signals someone who is about as smart as a rock.
I answer, "Oh, you can't read? I am Nobunagas Quest." I say this in a regular voice... even though it was tempting to break out.
He says, "Dude you are a nobody!"
At this point i'm tired of him, he is using old tricks. And... I was feeling quite superior to him at the time. I say, "OK, google my name then."
This was my mistake.
This is where my HP drops considerably, "Yah, I did, all I found was gay porn."
Touche. I smiled at this. That was a very appropriate response and I was proud of him for using his noggin. He laughed a couple of seconds.
I respond, " Oh yah! You see, I'm a director! I thought you might be interested in Starring in one of my films!"
I am kicked.
Now I am not asking you who won or lost. I am asking you.... is that not the best part of being online? The real competition? Literally outsmarting your opponent through verbal attacks!? Halo is.... well it is Halo. It will die down one day, as will L4D and Castle Crashers. But the art of talking? That will stick.
And really, I have chat to thank.
I am constantly challenged to come up with witty remarks and comebacks which those idiots in chat force upon me. They improve my game.
Honestly, I think I won that arguement.
I could have lost.
But I think I won.
-Travis MG
